Hello!

You might recognize me from such roles as: The Ex who dated your current boyfriend for 8 years (as of 2 years ago), and, The Ex who helped him become a responsible adult by- helping him fix his credit, teaching him how to pay bills online, and, the Ex who put up with his grumpiness and general bitterness at life, and, the Ex who tried to open up his mind by taking him on-out-of-state trips, and, also- a starring role as the concerned Ex who encouraged him to pursue his art and who got him a job working at an art store when he was miserable at his job working at a liquor store. You might ask yourself, why did you stay with this role for so long? Well, I loved him, I believed in him, and I accepted and saw his bad side along with his good. I was with him for the long haul. In other words, I was an idiot.

Hello again!!

Let me tell you about his role. He is 44 year old man-child with no responsibilities, working with 23 year olds and living the “Williamsburg, Brooklyn lifestyle.” His life is filled with $4 Pabst beer and whiskey shot happy hours then going home to 700 square feet of living quarters, shared with two other roommates  (in which he had to throw away most of his comic book and toy collection because there was no room), $16/hr paycheck-to-paycheck, viagra popping, burned out, midlife crisis filled neurosis. And let’s not forget his starring role as: A cheating asshole!

He may or may not have mentioned it to you. And, if he did, I’m sure he said that he suffers incredible, incredible guilt. And, I’m sure he also says that we drifted apart- All of which is true. But that is no excuse for cheating on someone you claimed you “loved” or someone who did so much while expecting so little.

What is also true is that you will never get him to take anything seriously because of this one simple fact: He is a coward. He is scared shitless about being an adult. So unless you want to feel like you’re dating a teenaged boy- complete with his “art”-which is basically terrible, sad, and pathetic bdsm fetish illustrations that he has no guts to actually do himself irl. (Yes, the sex is, and will always be utterly boring and vanilla with him- you will always be the dominant one) I suggest you keep your options open and don’t waste your time with him. He will never, ever change. You will always be waiting for him to catch up. But hopefully, when you find out he’s a lost cause- it won’t be too late for you to start over again.