Who: Chef (OKC, 48, Aquarius, Professional chef and Former James Beard winner)

Where: A small restaurant in Williamsburg

When I think of chef, I don’t like to think about the bad things that happened. Instead, I like to remember the first time I saw him. I had first connected with him on OKC in early 2016, and though our messaging was sparse, I already knew I liked him. He was the first guy I asked out. “What are you doing on Thursday?” I asked, “I’m going to xxxx restaurant, care to join me?” “Sure!” he replied, “I’m coming from work :)”

“Bring your chef uniform!” I joked. But actually I wasn’t- I have a thing for chefs. Perhaps it’s because I wanted to be one.

I was running there straight from band practice. I was 10 minutes late- but he texted he grabbed us a table. It was 9 pm and eerily quiet. When I got close to the restaurant I could see into the window and saw him sitting and studying the menu. He was, quite frankly the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. We had the best time talking about food then we moved on to drinks at a nearby bar. I leaned over to kiss him and it was like everything stood still for a brief moment. There was nothing else but me and him. We subsequently ended up dating for 3 months, and I can’t really get into too much detail, but I’ve never felt anything like that before. I let him in. I would have given anything to be with him and for the first time on my life, I looked at someone and wanted to have a life with them, marriage and kids. I would have given EVERYTHING for it. Things did not go well, and we stayed friends for almost two years, but it got to be an emotionally abusive relationship. “I love you” he would say, “I want to be with you…. but after I fuck more chicks” he’d add.

I cried so, so much over chef. I wanted to believe him badly- I let him fuck me over emotionally again and again. But in the end, it wore me down, and I had to cut him out of my life completely. I’m still getting over it and I promised myself that I would never let anyone get to me like that ever again.